Sunday, November 29, 2009

Volume V, Issue ix November 2009

Beauty is in the Black Eye of the Beholder
When Ethan emerged from an altercation with Eve's head looking like something out of a Rocky movie, he was embarrassed that he had gotten such a manly looking wound from playing with his little sister. His plan was to tell everyone that he got his black eye from ". . . uh. . . falling down." Child Protective Services, may I take your order? We told him he'd just have to be honest, and that running into your sister while playing a wild spinning game was nothing to be ashamed of.

Peter Neutron, Hair Genuis
If you've ever had the honor of running your fingers through Peter's luscious locks, you know that the mane on that kid would make even Fabio jealous. Sometimes during bath-time I can't resist playing with the soapy mass, making it stick up in fine, "aesthetically pleasing configurations of hair." I was stunned at the resemblance between our dear Peter and Jimmy Neutron when we created this particular masterpiece. As a baby, his hair was in a perpetual pompadour, and strangers often asked me if I had styled it that way. To the contrary, I painstakingly plastered it flat to his head, but in a matter of minutes, it always sprang up with super hair strength.

Thai Beanie Baby
Starting with Holden, my pregnancies have been filled with mind-bending nausea, bone-crushing fatigue, and taste-bud numbing Thai food. Since each of the kids was practically raised on an in utero diet of rare steak and 4 star spice (the highest spice level they'll let you order) Thai curry, we weren't really surprised when the kids developed an early tolerance for food with a kick. However, petite Marie has taken the need to feel the heat to new levels. The other kids started liking Thai food at age three or four, but because of her status as a prodigy of all things cuisine related, Marie has been eating Thai food since before she could walk.

I made some Thai Barbeque chicken for dinner, adding extra red chili paste, garlic, and soy to a home-made sauce recipe and cooking it in our dutch oven to make sure the spice level would come close to combustive. The boys loved it, but Eve said she thought the fire-power was a little too strong. I assumed we'd probably have to go easy on the sauce for Marie's portion, but, boy, was I wrong.

After she had eaten her portion, she climbed on my lap and started lapping up the sauce off of my plate using a fork and her whole face.

What a Beautiful World :
Eve's Personal Eden
World View, Part One
While packing for our most recent trip to Utah, we asked each of the kids to bring their travel bag upstairs. We let each of them bring a bag with miscellaneous entertainment items. Sometimes they'll bring games or toys to keep them occupied or favorite items from home that they just can't live without.

I was scurrying around packing the 50 plus outfits needed for our 6 day trip and didn't notice that Eve's pile of "necessary items" was multiplying by the minute. When I turned around to gather up the final bags to add to the Everest-sized pile in the back of the Suburban, I saw that Eve had packed up not nine, not ten, but ELEVEN different bags of various sizes and shapes, including carrying cases, backpacks, and purses. In these bags she had a mountain of much needed items such as jewelry, stuffed animals, scarves, plastic food, and, our personal favorite, the Lincoln Elementary School Parent Handbook (the blue book in the little pink suitcase).

Intermission. Let's play a game. Guess which one of these outfits Eve put together all by herself? Guess which same outfit I let her wear when we went for a walk? Guess which same outfit caused a passerby to grin and say, "I wonder who dressed herself today?" Yes. The shirt says "Here Comes Trouble" and it doesn't lie.
World View, Part Two
For our Family Home Evening treat the last Monday in October, we created some scary skeleton cupcakes that were baking as we gave the lesson. As we struggled to get the kids to give us some semblance of attention, Eric realized that our treats needed to be taken out of the oven. He looked up and said, "Cupcakes!" Without a pause, Eve gave me a quizzical expression and asked, "Is that you or me?"

World View, Part Three
Eve's Primary teacher rushed up to us at the end of Church and told us she had to share an Eve-ism with us. She had taught the kids that day about Prophets and how we have modern-day prophets just like they did in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. Eve looked sadly at her teacher and raised her hand and said, "I don't know any of the prophets. . . The only one that I know is President Hink-Dorf."

I'm sure President Hinkley and President Uchtdorf wouldn't mind that one bit, especially when it's coming out of such a cute mouth.

World View, Part Four
Eric was getting the kids ready for bed and he and Eve started playing a sort of word game involving what each of the kids brought to the world. Eve would say, "Would does Caleb add to the world?" and Eric would respond, "Caleb makes the world crazier!" Eve asked about each of her siblings in turn and then said, "What does Eve add to the world?" Eric looked at her lovingly and said, "Eve makes makes the world beautiful." Before he could even take a breath at the end of his sentence Eve added, "And smart!" Sniff. Elaine Showalter would be so proud!

World View, Part Five
As I helped Eve get out of the car on a recent trip to the store, she stuck out her lower lip and gazed at me with absolute puppy dog eyes. She continued to look at me this way until I said, "Eve. What's that look?" She smiled and explained, "That's the look I give you to get what I want!"

Sherlock Hol-mes-den
For his first Middle School book report, Holden was supposed to dress up like one of the characters in his book about Sherlock Holmes. Of course the book report was the Wednesday before Halloween, so I was already a craft-crazed lunatic and figured, "What's one more costume?" NOT so elementary, my dear Watson! Have you ever tried to assemble a detective hat with no pattern, no sleep, and no sense of moderation? Six hours later. . . (said in a French accent, a la Sponge Bob). I was up nearly all night and kept wondering why I was torturing myself. Could I argue that it was for the cause of education? (Edutainment maybe?)

Monday, November 2, 2009

The d'Evegnee League : SUPER FAMILY!

Our house looks like it was hit by a
Halloween Hurricane of Hafen Heights!

This Hurricane of Crafty Proportions left in its wake : dirty laundry left untouched and unacknowledged; an answering machine angrily blinking red with the number twenty-six; trips through drive-thrus for lunches and dinners with kids gleefully grinning at their good fortune; those same kids with brain cells melting into goo as they watched too many intelligence-stunting movies and played too much Wii; trails of thread weaving throughout the house from one floor to the next as if some small child had tried to find their way home rather than being imprisoned by the pin-poking, appendage-measuring witch in her sewing hideout.

But. . . ding-dong. . the witch is not dead yet. Oh no. She survived to sew again! But only as a sleep-deprived, zombie-like version of her former self. The Halloween Hangover is in full bloom. And despite the bags drooping under her eyes and the laundry crying out to be done, and the craft room that is weeping for someone to please save it, this witch is oh, so, happy! And she knows she'll be back next year as she is every year, because every year it's worth it!

Each time I emerged from my steadily sinking craft room with some newly created emblem or carefully concocted cape, the general family reaction was enough to keep me in stitches. When I poked my head out of the hideout to show Caleb the Green Lantern insignia, he studied it thoughtfully and said, "Mom. I think you could make anything with fabric!"

And, seriously, how fun is it that Super Heroes are so obsessed with absolute comfort in their costume planning? Most of us now have a new set of super jammies!

While munching away on our Halloween lunch of cheap, 88 cent grocery-store freezer section pizza, we discussed different movie-plots starring us, of course. I told them that if we had the technology, we could create a story-line in which the entire Justice League would be captured by the Super Villians, with the exception of Aqua Man. The villians chuckle sneeringly, gloating about how Aqua Man is powerless against them in their landlocked lair. The scene shifts to Aqua Man with his telepathic circles spinning madly out of his head in the direction of the Super Villians. Cut to one of the Super Villians sitting on the toilet, reading a carefully placed magazine. He wails as a geiser of water shoots him up off of the toilet, his evil arms flailing as he screams for help. Aqua Man saves the day!

Yes, my Super Friends. Halloween was very, very good to us this year!

Blog Archive