Thursday, March 31, 2016

Volume XII, issue i, January 2016


Provo City Center Temple

Just as the new year was beginning, we rang out the wild bells en masse by walking wide-eyed through this stunning structure with Grandma and Grandpa as they huddled up with most of their 45 grandchildren, whispering about Adam and Eve, the Atonement, sacrifice, altars, and eternal joy. The shades of earthy greens and rosy pinks created my favorite type of Home atmosphere--the feeling of being encircled with perfect love without having to be flawless. 

It is a restored structure that echoes the core of the Restoration, both doctrinally and architecturally, with vibrant color and patterns, rich dark wood, and antique stained glass so breathtaking that I found myself looking around corners for Relief Society originals like Emma and Eliza and Sarah and Lucy Mack. 

I love that white is only an accent color to emphasize what we were taught by our family matriarch and patriarch in the sealing room after our tribe mounted steep and symbolic spiral staircases: temples assist us in our heavenly ascension without demanding perfection before we enter them because Christ will make our willingness holy; everyone is equal around our heavenly parents' perfectly circular table. Now I really am feeling happy and new this year.

I designed the above graphics as a tribute to these transformative feelings in my soul and I have it hanging in my living room as a reminder not to be satisfied with being a tabernacle and not to be too hurt by the growing pains that will lead me into myself as a temple. 

On very rare occasions when the "world is too much with [me]" (as it was in January this year), Charlie gets to be my breakfast date just so I can admire both him and the most delectable breakfast burritos in the world as they sit so beautifully across from me in our little booth of comfort. I love how the burrito is almost as big as my Charlie is.

During some of our December and January disappointments with the loss of my computer, my external hard drive, my etsy shop, and our savings account for Paris, (which had to be used to fix our Suburban), there were days when that little face was the only thing that could pull me through the day.

So much loss opens the way for an equal amount of discovery, and I discover daily how much I love the people who I have the honor of calling my people. They help to create my tabernacle to temple transformation too.

One morning while munching on his breakfast, Charlie put a cheerio on his thumb and said, "My thumb looks like an angel."

There was definitely an angel right before my eyes.

One of our favorite Charlie-isms comes about three times a day when he slumps over in a painfully dehydrated state and cries out mournfully, "I'm really, really drinky!"

When Charlie refuses to go solo to Primary on Sundays I get to sit and listen to the lessons and sing the songs with the kids who are 8 and under.

On one lucky Sunday I got to listen as one of the leaders was talking about the new theme for 2016 which is "I Know the Scriptures are True." The leader mentioned scriptures that talk about how we should read the words of God and pointed out words like "feast," "treasure up,"  "search diligently," and "hold fast." The leader asked the group of kids, "What kinds of words are these?"

While all of the other kids shrieked answers like "Actions" and "They do stuff,"  I could hear Marie's calm, clear voice ringing above the din, shouting, "They're verbs! To do or to feel!"

Hmmm. . . I think somebody must be the daughter of two English Professors.


Friday, February 19, 2016

Volume XI, issue x, December 2015

All for Onesie and Onesie for All!

The sub-zero temperatures combined with a less-than-reliable heater forced us to wax creative in order to keep warm in December. Since fixing our heater is beyond our budget this year, each of us received a warm and cozy onesie for Christmas that is not only practical, but amazingly stylish. We look like a family of Rexburg Eskimo Gangsters.


Even wearing a onesie from head to toe didn't provide enough heat to keep my gangsters warm on some of our Rexburrrrrg nights, so I sewed rice bags that my little Ice Cubes could warm up in the microwave each night and then put in their beds.

Charlie was especially enamored with his rice bag and carried it with him everywhere he went.

He held it out to me proudly and said,  "This is my bean bag."

I nodded and said, "Well, it's like a bean bag, but it actually has rice in it."

He gave me a steady stare and said, "Rice is beans."

And thus a new family expression was born. On any given day, at any time, you'll hear one of us say, "Rice is beans."

And sometimes, if you're lucky, you'll hear us substitute a different word for "rice" because, according to Charlie's logic, anything can be beans.

For example: "Pizza is beans" (while the kids are eating their Friday night dinner). Or if I ask Eric to please help Charlie put on his shoes, I might hear Eric say, "Shoes is beans."

It really has become a universal expression and I highly recommend it.
Ohhhhh, Christmas Tree (of Doom)
Since our first Idaho Christmas twelve years ago, each year on the first Monday night in December we make the trek to a local nursery to "hunt" for the d'Evegnée Family Christmas Tree. Each year, we've talked about making a real trek into our Idaho forests to actually "hunt" for a tree, but each year I pooh-pooh the idea because of my anxiety about one of the kids getting maimed by the saw or catching hypothermia. (Those 4-H videos from the days of my Idaho youth certainly succeeded in teaching me about the dangers of hypothermia, but I don't think their goal was to scare me away from ever wanting to be outside in the winter with my kids!) 

This year, Eric begged me to let him hunt for his own fresh tree out in the wild. I was reluctant until he told me he had "called the Park Ranger." I was so pleased by the idea of my Connecticut Yankee calling a Park Ranger that I couldn't stop laughing the rest of the day. I never pictured my sweet professor striking up a conversation with an actual Park Ranger.

I had to give in. I told him that he could take the four "Olders" to get the tree and that I would keep the three "Littles" at home with me. 

While I made dinner and got out ornaments and strings of garlands, my four Mountain Men and one Mountain Lady braved the weather and the snow and the ice and drove up past Mesa Falls to find the tree of Eric's dreams. When they returned, I knew something had gone terribly wrong when the four kids were wearing plastic grins the size of the forest. Even though Eric was clearly limping, he didn't want to rehearse the gory details of their trek until after the kids were onesied, rice-bagged, and bedded. 

While on their adventure, our minivan had gotten stuck in the snow just in front of a grove of tall pines. Since Holden has his learner's permit, Eric told him to get in the car while Eric pushed the car from the front. I won't give all of the details, but the short version is that the car lurched forward and threw Eric backwards and into the trunks of the trees, causing him to be painfully pinned on his back between the car and the trees while the engine was still revving. By the time the car was put in reverse and rolled off of Eric, he miraculously emerged with only cracked ribs and a severely sprained back. We are aware that it could have been much, much worse and that he was protected by unseen forces.

When he dragged himself into class the next day, his students gasped at the way he was carrying his broken body, and one of them said, "What happened to you?? Did you get hit by a car or something?"

Poor Eric limped through the rest of December, only surviving through the grace of daily muscle relaxers and ibuprofen. 
These photos are a testament to Eric's loyalty to me as he took them while he was in severe pain. He loves me and knows me well enough to know how much I love our photos of our chosen tree each year, but imagining him grimacing and gritting his teeth as he snapped these photos makes me a little sad.
When the boys dragged the tree in from the car, it was only about four feet taller than the highest point of our living room, so they had to drag it back outside and saw off another huge chunk so it would fit in the house.
The Gift of the Charli

A couple of weeks before Christmas, Charlie was overcome by the Christmas Spirit and I found him gathering up his favorite used items from the kitchen and his bedroom so that he could give them to his favorite cousin, Matthew, for a Christmas present. He wanted to put all of his treasures in an empty fruit snacks box, so he packed up the broken pieces of toys, papers from preschool, and other random crayons and stickers. It was so cute to witness his innocent excitement that I couldn't resist taking him to the post office to ship the package of hand-me-downs to Ohio for his cousin.

The Final Finale
During December I'm always forced to juggle my Christmas preparations along with the grading of research Essays. The day before the final,  I received this email from a student:


"I do not feel good what so ever. My stomach is not a happy camper right now and I spent most of my time revising my essay in the bathroom if you get what I mean."


I didn't want to be the only one with this festively fecal image dancing in my head! I'm so grateful right now that I taught my composition students about the power of vivid description. (And I decided to grade his essay with rubber gloves on.)


Sometimes when you're splashing around in waves of research essays, it makes you feel heaps better to let your blue-eyed boy go to preschool in his Emperor cloak you sewed during less word-laden days. And then, just because you can, you march with gusto to the preschool door while holding your sweet sith's tiny hand and belting out the du-duh-duhs of Darth Vadar's theme song.
The Main Event

A major portion of my December was spent helping to organize a community fundraiser to raise funds for Syrian Refugees with a group of my like-minded friends here in Rexburg. I decided that having an "Event" would help me check off the first on my rather lengthy list of steps that must be taken in order to reach my ultimate goal of becoming one of the reality TV celebrities on Real Housewives of New York City. I may not have a face full of botox or wear evening gowns to clean my toilets, or have a head full of hair-extensions, but I can organize an "Event!" Step one complete. 


Rather than creating and designing neighbor gifts this year, our family designed a logo for our organization (Rexburg Relief), and also created fliers to be distributed to our community to advertise the fundraiser. We also designed and cut out ornaments with the faces of refugee children for the Giving Tree and dipped about 250 cookies in chocolate and sprinkled them with crushed-up candy canes for refreshments for the Event. 

After two group meetings and over 1500 Facebook messages (that's not an exaggeration), my friends and I threw a shindig that any of the Real Housewives would have pulled out each others weaves over. We ended up raising almost $2500 dollars in cash and folks from the community donated 40 bags of new and used items, including about 30 baby carriers. 

My small army of elves also committed to share part of their Christmas with refugee children, which meant that we shared not only our time but our Christmas with those kids this year. It was sweet to watch the whole family get so cheerfully involved. 

I was impressed as I watched my sweet seven on the day of the event as they helped to set up, clean up, and run the ornament-making station where they helped other children at the fundraiser make hand-shaped ornaments on which they wrote down an amount of money they would donate to refugee children.
This little graphic I created for instgram sums up my feelings about the "Event."
Our Christmas Eve French buffet and our cheesy Christmas Eve were both hits this year. Every year we keep perfecting our holiday menu and the kids think that we've finally settled on just the right combination of foods. They love the Christmas Eve Vichyssoise as much as they adore the sausage and potato breakfast casserole, and they could never live without their Christmas Day Boeuf Bourguignon.

All I Want for Christmas is to Freestyle (and my 2 Front Teeth)

These two little darlings were singing songs about Christmas wishes and missing teeth in tandem this year. Marie and her friend, Lucy Gilbert, both agree that it's comforting to have a best friend with whom to share Chistmath! (We also love that our dear Gilberts live close enough to celebrate even the littlest of little things with us again!)

Marie produced our favorite festive one-liner this year when she was pondering her Christmas loot on our late and lazy Christmas morning. As she was eating her Christmas Breakfast, she paused between bites and said reflectively, "The only problem with my new Just Dance game is that I like to free-style."

Eric's sister, Noelle, never disappoints with her choice of Christmas Jammies for the kids.

 In fact, Charlie loved his Spiderman Pajamas (which he called a "sweater" for some reason) so much that after their trial sleep run on Christmas Eve, his blue eyes sparkled happily when he said, "I like this sweater. I want to wear it all on the time on all the days."
You know Christmas is going to be good when five of your stockings contain light sabers.

May the Christmas Spirit be with you.
 My cute Mamacita posing with her spoils after our annual family white elephant extravaganza. I was hip-hip-hooraying that she was the recipient of my one-of-a-kind creation. Now I need to make a hat and shirt like this for myself!
My gorgeous niece, who is borrowing the royal ensemble from Grandma so she can wear it for cold morning runs and skiing. She promised me she'd send me a photo, so stay tuned! Would it be insensitive if I say it will be her morning Alder-run? 

Monday, February 15, 2016

Volume Xi, issue ix, November 2015

It's hard to talk about what you're grateful for through forkfuls of turkey and stuffing when you're in bed all week with the flu, so I chose to stay home and be thankful for ibuprofen and the quick passage of time rather than driving to Utah to spend Thanksgiving with my family.

My sweeties here at home refused to go on without me, so they feasted on frozen ravioli for Thanksgiving Dinner.

I would have been really quite sad if I had been able to get out of bed long enough to process any real thoughts.

A few days later when I was feeling better, we ate our own little belated Thanksgiving victuals. As I was looking for a good brine recipe for our turkey, I stumbled onto a recipe for turkey covered in what they gluttonously labeled a "bacon jacket." After not eating for three days, I figured I should jump on that cholesterol train.

It was like basket weaving, but with bacon.

Doesn't our bird look so warm and comfortable in her new jacket?
Homemade Lion House Rolls, cornbread and sausage stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and roasted brussels sprouts all served up on a paper plate just to prove that I had been just that sick only a few days earlier.
Homemade chocolate cream pie and a pecan, caramel and chocolate tarte. (Can you tell we prefer chocolate to pumpkin around here?)
The body language in this photo yields a cornucopia of emotions. Yes. Some of us ate Thanksgiving Dinner in our pajamas just because we could. And yes, some of us ate ourselves into such a stupor that we had to rest our heads in our hands. No ties or nice clothes were required and the sunglasses were optional.


Sunday, January 10, 2016

Volume XI, issue viii, October 2015 HALLOWEEN

The Gang's all here for this year's family costume! One of our favorite comments at a doorstep while trick or treating was "Oh. . . It's the Peanuts Gang. . . and a chicken!" Poor, poor Woodstock. Poor, poor ignorant person on our street who gave us candy.



The choreography for this year wasn't quite as intense as last year's Thriller Dance, but we thought it was pretty charming in a non-aesthetic way.  (Listen closely to hear Eric growling my name through his fangs as I make us dance just a little too long. . . Haw!)

If the video doesn't show up for you, there's a link to our dancing loveliness here


The four oldest helped to sew their costumes this year, which makes me sound so much more maternally responsible than crazy, right? It actually warmed this old bird's feathers to see these little peanuts so willing to help carry the costume load, and I think it made them proud to see how well they could work that overworked sewing machine. 





This is my favorite photo of the bunch. Every boy needs his dog. . . er. . . Dad.

While I was happily speeding through fabric on my sewing machine of terror, Charlie watched the Peanuts Halloween Movie roughly a hundred or so times. After receiving candy at the first few houses on our trick or treating route in Utah, he gleefully exclaimed, "Hey! I got candy and not rocks!"
Here we are as the Odd Couple. My sweet puppy didn't quite know what he was getting himself into when he agreed to be Snoopy. When his costume blossomed from the depths of my craft room late on Halloween Eve,  I rushed into the bedroom to show it to him (and bounce on the bed just a little, little bit). Eric rolled over, looked at me standing above him on the bed with a maniacal grin and grown man-sized dog costume, and he said, "I didn't think this through, did I?"

As we were weaving our way through several Utah neighborhoods with my sister, Emily, and her kids, Eric kept saying he was "dog tired" and telling me he knew he needed to be extra nice so he didn't have to "sleep in the doghouse" and it never got old. Maybe that's because one reaches a certain level of euphoria when one allows oneself to flutter through otherwise normal neighborhoods as a life-sized canary. As I shook my tail-feathers and skipped along next to my beautiful, normally dressed Emily, Eric shook his head and told me that it looked like I had been released from my half-way house for the evening by my big sister. 

One thing that I know for sure is that my beloved Snoop Dog deserves more appreciation from the bird in his life for enduring the costumed frenzy for 17 years straight. He is definitely this woman's best friend. 



For Linus and Schroeder's shirts, we used duct tape and fabric paint to create cartoonish stripes. I was pretty jazzed about how they turned out. 
Pigpen--aka The World's Most Patient Teenager (what other 15-year-old would let you rub dirt on his face just for a photo op?). The look on his face is quintessentially Ethan. 
Since the Peanuts Movie was going to be released only days after Halloween, Peter had the bright idea to go to the movie in our costumes. How could we turn town our brave little Linus?

When we went trick or treating at their house, our dear friends, the Hartvigsens, somehow got roped into the peanutty good idea of coming with us to the movie.  We just happened to sew costumes for them just for our movie outing, and one of them was just slightly more thrilled than the other (I'll let you guess which one is which).

Not only were they good sports, but they made the trip to the movies even more delightful than we could have imagined.

Just looking at this photo makes me love them even more (which I had though was pretty impossible).




Volume XI, issue vii, August 2015

Miss Jackson if You're Nast. . .algic
(See what I did there? Only true children of the 80's will get that allusion. And by the way, I do know how to spell nostalgic correctly.)

We took our annual trip to Jackson Hole during our last few gasps of summer air before school started. It was breathtakingly lovely as it always is. I think there is something in the air there that refreshes and renews. 
                           


There are dozens of other seating options my two teeny-boppers could choose on a lazy Sunday afternoon, including couches, chairs, beds, and floors, and yet there they sat on one of the last days of summer in their two-pea-d pod.



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